Tired of what he sees as the continued intransigence and financial favoritism within the Democratic and Republican Parties, consumer advocate Ralph Nader pledged Sunday that he too would become a 2004 presidential candidate, one just as removed from the realities facing the average American.

“What we have is essentially a two-party system so mired in toadying up to their corporate overlords that they are clueless as to what is going on in Middle America,” Nader asserted.

“But not nearly as clueless as me. Instead of a two-party system, what we need is a three-party system with no idea. And if you need proof of my credentials to take on this challenge, then look no further than the millions of Democrats who want to kill me for running,” he added.

Meanwhile, citing security concerns, Nader said that -- unlike his 2000 candidacy -- this time he would use doubles for all his campaign stops, airdrop leaflets over major cities and ask President Bush if he could borrow his flight suit just in case...