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Irrational Satire Chicago Band So Progressive That Everyone Hates Them BAR-ENDER
Posted by: on Feb 24, 04 | 5:26 pm

Local progressive metal band "Kurt Vonneguts Oedipus Lunch Meat" is so progressive that they have drawn scorn from the critics, venue patrons and owners, other progressive rockers, and "mostly the entire Chicago music scene", according to several followers of said scene.

The few in the local Chicago metal-progressive scene that have heard of the band mostly tend to stay away in lieu of their abominable reputation, but those that occasionally venture into the venue at which the band managed to take stage have unanimously detested the time spent listening to songs in which each member plays in a different key and time signature while being punctuated with lyrics sung in what appears to be Aramaic.

“Yeah, I know that some people would say that bringing an elephant on stage and listening to it fart is artistic, and though I doubt they’re right, I’ll concede to the fact that great art is unrecognizable at its inception,” said pop music critic John Degrode. “But this shit… if you could take the sound of someone slitting their wrists, put it to guitars and listen to it for three hours, that would be pleasant compared to the time I spent watching these f*cks. If this is art, then I’ll take a job at Starbucks and leave all this behind.”...




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