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Irrational Satire Inbox Insurrection BAR-ENDER
Posted by: on Oct 06, 03 | 2:32 pm

Got this in my Inbox (actually Boomer did) and decided to share the wealth. Enjoy !!

15 Things to do at Wal-Mart while your spouse/shopping partner is taking
their sweet time:

1. Get 24 boxes of condoms and randomly put them in peoples carts when they
aren't looking

2. Set all the alarm clocks in Housewares to go off at 5-minute intervals

3. Make a trail of tomato juice on the floor leading to the rest rooms

4. Walk up to an employee and tell him/her in an official tone, 'Code 3' in
housewares......and see what happens

5. Go the Service Desk and ask to put a bag of M&M's on lay away

6. Move a 'CAUTION - WET FLOOR' sign to a carpeted area

7. Set up a tent in the camping department and tell other shoppers you'll
invite them in if they bring pillows from the bedding department

8. When a clerk asks if they can help you, begin to cry and ask 'Why can't
you people just leave me alone?'

9. Look right into the security camera, use it as a mirror and pick your

10. While handling guns in the hunting department, ask the clerk if he knows
where the anti-depressants are

11. Dart around the store suspiciously while loudly humming the theme from
"Mission Impossible"

12. In the auto department, practice your "Madonna look" using different
size funnels

13. Hide in a clothing rack and when people browse through, say "PICK ME!"

14. When an announcement comes over the loud speaker, assume the fetal
position and scream "NO! NO! It's those voices again!!!!"

And last but not least:

15. Go into a fitting room, shut the door and wait a while and then yell
loudly "There is no toilet paper in here"




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