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Irrational Satire HARRY POTTER THIEVES SPOIL BOOK’S ENDING BAR-ENDER
Posted by: Boomer on Jun 19, 03 | 9:24 am

Reveal Key Plot Twist During Nine-hour Interrogation
British police today nabbed thieves who stole thousands of copies of the latest Harry Potter book from a warehouse in Merseyside, but were devastated when the thieves spoiled the book’s ending during a nine-hour interrogation.

The police had tracked the thieves to an abandoned garden shed in suburban Liverpool where they found the perpetrators engrossed in reading J.K. Rowling’s latest installment, “Harry Potter and the Order of the Phoenix.”...

As the police questioned the suspects, however, the interrogation quickly veered from how the books were stolen to what actually happens in the “Potter” book itself.

Sgt. Colin McCauley, one of the police officers present at the interrogation, said that the questioning started going awry when one of the officers asked what happens to the character of Lord Voldemort in the new book.

“I sensed at the time that the Lord Voldemort question was leading us into very dangerous territory,” Sgt. McCauley said. “It seemed to open the floodgates.”

After revealing many other details of the book’s plot, including what happens to Ron as keeper of the Gryffindor Quidditch team, the thieves divulged the surprise ending of “Phoenix”, completely wrecking it for police.

“I put my hands in my ears and started going, ‘la, la, la,’ but it was too late,” Sgt. McCauley said.

In a related story, Senator Hillary Clinton (D-NY) was caught today stealing over nine thousand copies of the Potter book today from a warehouse in Paramus, NJ.


Questioned by police, Sen. Clinton admitted that she stole the books in the hopes of making her own book, “Living History,” the nation’s number one bestseller.



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