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Irrational Satire HORSE RACING - COULD IT WORK FOR COWS ? BAR-ENDER
Posted by: on Sep 15, 03 | 12:13 pm

Claims that a form of horse racing for cows, so-called "cow racing", could reinvigorate the gambling industry were made at a hush-hush meeting of farmers, breeders and online betting firms. "Punters are always looking for something new" said farmer David Howie, "and cow racing could be the next big thing."

Insiders are said to be looking favourably at the proposal. Said one bookmaker, "These days you have dogs, camels and ostriches competing on the track. There is no good reason why cows shouldn't also be put through their paces."

The initial proposal is for racecows between the ages of three and five to compete over a mile. The cows would be jockeyless and, much like greyhounds, would chase an attractive moving target. David Howie has suggested an electric rail which would propel a life-sized farmer carrying a mini-trough.

James Steel of the Farmers Union gave cautious backing to the plan, but called for more support from government for British farmers. "Diversification In Action is one thing but to have dairy cows charging round a track urged on by excited racegoers is bound to have an effect on yield".



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