Americus, GA—The already overflowing coffers of Tootsie Roll Industries were further fattened Wednesday, when Americus resident, Crystal (C J) Dunn, purchased a bag of the candy at a local Walmart.

"Ah, very good... that's another buck ninety nine for us," said TRI president Ellen Gordon, as she observed the Dunn purchase on closed-circuit television at the company's Chicago headquarters. "With every bag of our delicious chocolate treats they buy, we only grow more powerful." Gordon then opened a bag of Tootsie Rolls and tossed a handful into the air, laughing maniacally."