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Archives: February 2004

Thu Feb 26, 2004

Irrational News The Passion Inflames the Web BAR-ENDER
Posted by: on Feb 26, 04 | 9:30 pm

It's not often that filmgoers feel so protective of a $30 million movie that they buy advertising for it. But Mel Gibson's The Passion of the Christ, which was released in theaters Feb. 25, is not your typical film.

The controversial movie, which Gibson directed and funded, re-enacts the last 12 hours in the life of Jesus Christ. Even before The Passion was screened, interfaith and Jewish groups began expressing concerns that the movie could incite anti-Jewish activity...



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Tue Feb 24, 2004

Irrational Satire Chicago Band So Progressive That Everyone Hates Them BAR-ENDER
Posted by: on Feb 24, 04 | 5:26 pm

Local progressive metal band "Kurt Vonneguts Oedipus Lunch Meat" is so progressive that they have drawn scorn from the critics, venue patrons and owners, other progressive rockers, and "mostly the entire Chicago music scene", according to several followers of said scene.

The few in the local Chicago metal-progressive scene that have heard of the band mostly tend to stay away in lieu of their abominable reputation, but those that occasionally venture into the venue at which the band managed to take stage have unanimously detested the time spent listening to songs in which each member plays in a different key and time signature while being punctuated with lyrics sung in what appears to be Aramaic.

“Yeah, I know that some people would say that bringing an elephant on stage and listening to it fart is artistic, and though I doubt they’re right, I’ll concede to the fact that great art is unrecognizable at its inception,” said pop music critic John Degrode. “But this shit… if you could take the sound of someone slitting their wrists, put it to guitars and listen to it for three hours, that would be pleasant compared to the time I spent watching these f*cks. If this is art, then I’ll take a job at Starbucks and leave all this behind.”...



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Irrational Satire Ralph Nader Says America Needs Change From 'Two-Party Duopoly'; Launches Third-Party Candidacy Equally Out Of Touch With America BAR-ENDER
Posted by: on Feb 24, 04 | 5:22 pm

Tired of what he sees as the continued intransigence and financial favoritism within the Democratic and Republican Parties, consumer advocate Ralph Nader pledged Sunday that he too would become a 2004 presidential candidate, one just as removed from the realities facing the average American.

“What we have is essentially a two-party system so mired in toadying up to their corporate overlords that they are clueless as to what is going on in Middle America,” Nader asserted.

“But not nearly as clueless as me. Instead of a two-party system, what we need is a three-party system with no idea. And if you need proof of my credentials to take on this challenge, then look no further than the millions of Democrats who want to kill me for running,” he added.

Meanwhile, citing security concerns, Nader said that -- unlike his 2000 candidacy -- this time he would use doubles for all his campaign stops, airdrop leaflets over major cities and ask President Bush if he could borrow his flight suit just in case...



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Irrational News Grey Album Fans Protest Clampdown BAR-ENDER
Posted by: on Feb 24, 04 | 5:13 pm

A record company's attempt to silence a popular remix has raised voices of protest among almost 200 websites, which are posting DJ Danger Mouse's The Grey Album online in defiance of the music industry's copyright control.

Musicians and music fans will host The Grey Album, a remix of music from The Beatles' White Album and rapper Jay-Z's Black Album, on their Web pages Tuesday. Those who don't want to host the music but support the cause will make their websites gray for the day. Six independent radio stations around the country will play the album Tuesday, said Holmes Wilson, co-founder of Downhill Battle, the group that organized the protest...



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Irrational Obscurity Professor Resigns After Student Gets Nude BAR-ENDER
Posted by: on Feb 24, 04 | 9:49 am

A professor resigned from Mars Hill College in North Carolina after a student accepted his challenge to disrobe in exchange for an A in sociology.

The instructor's challenge was intended to illustrate public nudity is unacceptable in American society. He had not actually expected any students to take him up on his offer, the Asheville Citizen-Times reported Thursday.

The names of the professor and student have not been released due to privacy concerns.

The professor has tenure and is eligible for retirement benefits, which he has chosen to accept.

The professor apologized in an e-mail to students in the class.

The student will not be punished because the incident would not have occurred if the teacher hadn't issued the challenge.

However, the student will not receive an A



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Sun Feb 22, 2004

Irrational News Hypocrisy and Hypotheses (My Blog) Gets a Face Lift and New Address BAR-ENDER
Posted by: on Feb 22, 04 | 2:23 pm

Finally implemented...though may be incomplete... My first...but not my last... true link CSS oriented site. Check it out and help with the bugs and forgotten page reworks or just leave a comment as to the wondermous beauty of my new design. Kudos to iStockphoto for the compass image and pMblog for the inspiration. New Address? http://blog.irrationalnoise.com/...of course the url will work through redirect, but update your link bookmark / link Blogroll
anyway
...



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Wed Feb 18, 2004

Irrational News Stirred by 'Passion,' Churches Arrange Film Viewings BAR-ENDER
Posted by: on Feb 18, 04 | 10:53 pm

After he saw a sneak preview of Mel Gibson's new movie "The Passion of the Christ," the Rev. Kelvin Redmond called Carmike 15 Theatre and reserved four private showings for his North Raleigh congregation. He's encouraging church members to buy extra tickets and invite friends and co-workers to the showings Feb. 28.

"The movie brings everything to life -- the reality, the purpose, the reason Christ came," said Redmond, pastor of Body of Christ Church. "This is a must-see movie for every Christian to become reacquainted with the Bible story."

One week before the movie opens Feb. 25, churches across the nation are planning for what they hope will be the most influential Christian-themed movie ever to come out of Hollywood. The premiere corresponds with the start of Lent, the 40-day period of prayer and fasting preceding Easter, when Christians believe Jesus was resurrected.

In Raleigh, half a dozen churches have booked private screenings at Six Forks Station Cinema. In Durham, Campus Crusade for Christ has booked two showings at Southpoint Cinemas for students at UNC-Chapel Hill. Many church leaders say they want members to see the movie together and talk about it afterward. Advance ticket sales, which began Jan. 23, are brisk...



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Irrational Obscurity Student Group Mocks Affirmative Action with Whites-Only Award BAR-ENDER
Posted by: on Feb 18, 04 | 10:39 pm

A student group at Roger Williams University is offering a new scholarship for which only white students are eligible, a move they say is designed to protest affirmative action.
The application for the $250 award requires an essay on "why you are proud of your white heritage" and a recent picture to "confirm whiteness."

"Evidence of bleaching will disqualify applicants," says the application, issued by the university's College Republicans.

Jason Mattera, 20, who is president of the College Republicans, said the group is parodying minority scholarships...



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Sun Feb 15, 2004

Irrational News Scientists Advance Hydrogen Tech BAR-ENDER
Posted by: on Feb 15, 04 | 12:19 am


University of Minnesota researchers make hydrogen from ethanol in a prototype reactor that is small enough to generate power for homes and cars. It could help bring renewable hydrogen to the mass market.



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Thu Feb 12, 2004

Irrational Obscurity Man Forced To Mow Lawn At Gunpoint Gets 20-Year Prison Sentence BAR-ENDER
Posted by: on Feb 12, 04 | 1:29 pm

A convicted burglar sentenced in Calhoun County to 20 years in prison this week as a repeat offender had an unusual run-in with his victim.

The victim, Richard Bussey, says he drove up to his father's rural residence last summer and found a man loading furniture and other items into a pickup truck.

Bussey held a gun on the would-be thief and ordered him to return the furniture. Bussey didn't have a telephone, so he made 45-year-old Roy Andrew Gendron mow the lawn with a push mower until he could think of a plan to alert authorities...



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Irrational Satire Majority Of Americans Thought We Already Had A Moon Base BAR-ENDER
Posted by: on Feb 12, 04 | 1:24 pm

A NASA poll conducted to gauge support for President Bush's space-exploration initiative revealed that a depressing 57 percent of Americans believe that the U.S. already has a research base on the moon. "We put that international space-station thing up there in the '60s," phone-poll respondent Randy Snow said. "It might be on Mars, but I think it's the moon—wherever they have the golf course that President Kennedy played on. Remember, the Cubans tried to take it over?" NASA officials said they hope someday to make Americans' perception a reality.



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Thu Feb 05, 2004

Irrational News Create a Hoax, Earn Damnation BAR-ENDER
Posted by: on Feb 05, 04 | 12:23 am


A harmless little joke about turning a shiny new Power Mac G5 into a PC unleashed a torrent of bad tidings, including death threats. By Leander Kahney.



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Wed Feb 04, 2004

Irrational Satire Kerry Takes 5 States; Dean Joins WWF; Lieberman Out; Sharpton Still In For Free Publicity BAR-ENDER
Posted by: on Feb 04, 04 | 11:52 pm

In one of the wildest primaries ever, John Kerry won 5 of 7 states, taking Arizona, Delaware, Missouri, North Dakota and New Mexico. Clark took on Oklahoma and Edwards took on South Carolina. Joe Lieberman got the most votes in the local temples around Missouri, while Al Sharpton received the most votes due to mistakes from blind people in South Carolina.

Kerry is now clearly the front lead, followed by Edwards, which swept South Carolina. "Dean is out of this race," stated a very proud and somewhat cocky Kerry, "He can go scream at his staff, his family, whomever he wants now. I'm in the lead baby. His wife doesn't have to worry anymore about her patients either. She can take care of them all she wants." ...



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Irrational Satire SUPER BOWL AFTERMATH BAR-ENDER
Posted by: on Feb 04, 04 | 9:09 pm

Janet Jackson Episode: White House Cites Failure Of Intelligence To Warn Nation Of The Existence Of Breasts

The repercussions from the Janet Jackson-Justin Timberlake Super Bowl show continued unabated today. This time the White House stepped in by conveying its shock and outrage at the very existence of breasts.

How come nobody ever told us about these things before?" asked a confused White House spokesman Scott McClellan, expressing a sentiment shared by all members of the Bush administration.

"Before now I always thought that breasts were just something that belonged to male professional golfers," McClellan added.

The discovery has left many in the Bush administration wondering how they were caught so patently off-guard when one of Janet Jackson's two breasts was thrust upon it and 100 million other viewers this Sunday.

Today the administration was busy trying to seek answers.


"This is clearly failure of intelligence," said an unnamed source within the administration. "We will definitely need to spend millions upon millions of taxpayer money to look into this."



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